Do I really live by these goals? What do I actually do?
I actually let go of all that I want and expect: I summon each desire and dread, gaze upon it, savor the hope that I tied to it, explore the contours, and let it go. I cry over the loss of each one until I feel empty: my hands, mind and soul seem bare.
Then I am floating, flat on my back on a calm ocean at night. When I open my “eyes,” all I see is the stars of infinity. When I look at the horizon, I see shadowy trees overhanging a distant beach, and darkness beyond that. I hear slip-slaps of the dlippling water. I relax on the rippling cushion of the water’s surface. My breath and the salt water keep me afloat. My heels settle down a little as I breathe in, and level out as I breathe out. I am here, now. I enjoy this time of peace, however long it lasts, in this timeless place. This place just is.
Eventually a wave comes along that energizes me and aligns me with opportunities. I ride the wave for as long as I can, usually exhausting it. It beaches me at a distant land, to explore and gather wants and expectations.
Some time later, the tide rolls in, and the ocean reclaims me.
“Ocean Night” image is a composite of “Under the Stars” by Adrian Kingsley-Hughes,
“Two Planet-hunters Snapped at La Silla” by European Southern Observatory / Alexandre Santerne, via Wikimedia Commons, and
“Untitled” by cuisy for openphoto.net.
“Ocean Night” is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 by Grace Buchanan.