Imaginary Friends Become Real

Adults Have Imaginary Friends Too

The friendly ghosts and strangers we love devotedly though they don’t know us.
Published on November 11, 2013 by Dr. Jeremy Sherman in Psychology Today: Ambigamy

The above article from Psychology Today got me thinking.

Like his quote from Machiavelli, I find it wonderful to be able to summon the greatest thinkers and masters of all time, at their greatest moments, to give me their undivided attention. Likewise, when I write fiction, I summon people who never existed, and coax them to tell me their life stories.

I question whether any people grow us in the wrong direction. Sure in the short-run, we regret certain influences, but in the long-run, I see such journeys as being instructive as they form our character, giving us compassion and humility, and helping us identify who we are.

Each teaches us more about ourselves, even when we don’t like how we learned it.

For example, I am learning that unappetizing feedback can be as valuable as friendly feedback; they both reveal my beliefs about what I did. Likewise, when we are around “bad” influences, perhaps they are just reflecting our beliefs back to us until we outgrow those beliefs.

I am also thinking about some of  my sources of inspiration that my brain perceives without my ears and eyes. These are voices that I hear that my eardrums don’t respond to and visions that I see that my retinas don’t respond to, but these other voices and visions are as real as what my eardrums and retinas perceive, and become as real when I have done my work. My work makes my imaginary friends real.

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “Imaginary Friends Become Real

  1. I too get inspired by reading the work of others, but I have never felt the link as strongly as you have, Grace. I am always finding links, instances where I find someone else thinking like me or offering a surprising new perspective.

    What I have found since starting RC and being in this group of writing friends is how amazing the effect of input from others can be. Sometimes it can be very interesting reading comments. When people seem to have misunderstood some of what I have written, I find that I have often assumed they know everything I know and left out vital information! On the other hand, there have been times when people have understood my writing in a different way to what was intended and I have realised that there was more to it than I thought – somehow my subconscious had been guiding my fingers on the keyboard and putting in extra layers of meaning without me knowing.

    Like

    1. I’m glad you stopped by, Heidi.

      I know what you mean about finding that others have a lot to offer when they share their perspective on what we wrote. I, too, like to read the comments on my posts, as well as other posts that I enjoyed reading. Often, others show us something we didn’t see. Sometimes, the comments from the reader and the blogger are as interesting as the post itself. I think this is the power of blogging: the potential for – and even expectation of – conversations between readers and writers.

      I enjoy “seeing” you at your keyboard, with your subconscious guiding your fingers to produce surprises. I look forward to reading the results of the next energy flow.

      Like

  2. An interesting article Grace, thanks for re-posting it. I doubt I would have endured the loneliness that sometimes life can bring without the input of so many imaginary friends. I read the biography of John Lennon and discovered his natural inclination towards justice, and he has since played the role of “what would John Lennon have said or done about this”. So many others played different roles at different stages of my life but I suppose not all of them were true friends because I limited so of their roles to a minimum. As a budding writer I wish to rekindle the same kind of imagination so that those friends can come through in my writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “I suppose not all of them were true friends because I limited…their roles to a minimum.”

      Syd, what an interesting statement. I agree that we suffocate true relationships when we put them in neat, tidy compartments that don’t grow or overflow. I wonder about the suffocation effect on imaginary friendships. What a great thought to chew on.

      “I wish to rekindle the same kind of imagination so that those friends can come through in my writing.” I enjoy reading what you write, and making you and your friends my imaginary friends.

      Like

  3. I have no idea how I didn’t see this posting of yours before! Superb! I particularly love this – – “I summon people who never existed, and coax them to tell me their life stories.” As a fiction writer, I think that just about sums it up beautifully! And as for your title….Adults are even more justified in having Imaginary Friends!

    Like

  4. Once again your writing has gotten me thinking more deeply about the creative process. I like the idea that the characters I create, even the ones I don’t particularly like or find sympathetic, are my friends, or perhaps even manifestations of parts of myself.

    I think you are perhaps one of the most thoughtful writers I’ve ever come across and I like the way you present ideas. It reminds me of the quote: True strength is delicate. That’s what I think when I read your pieces. There is a gentleness and delicacy in the way the ideas are presented that seem to focus and gather strength. I really, really liked this post and your blog as a whole as been incredibly enjoyable.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What more can I ask? Jessica, you make my writing “efforts” successful: my greatest hope is for what is in the deepest place in my heart to touch someone else’s heart. The way you describe me is lovely to reach for. You brought tears of hope to my eyes.

      I am totally thrilled that you can see your least likable characters as friends and manifestations of yourself.

      Thank you, Jessica, for giving me such long visits. You are a great blog guest. I hope you will return often. In the meantime, I am enjoying the feast that I am finding at your blog. What comes to mind is, “it takes one to know one.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! It’s been another weary day over here (the Head Cold is still lingering; it really has overstayed it’s welcome by about 5 days) but I come to your blog and all that nonsense drifts away. I will definitely keep returning, and look forward to it!

        As a writer you definitely have touched me and I appreciate you sharing with all of us.

        🙂

        Like

            1. Can you transfer the sound out of your ears to my ears? I miss the sound 😦

              Maybe you could put the sound in a time capsule and transfer it to the future, when you will miss it?

              Like

Weave the fabric of this blog with your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s